Tour yet? Not quite. But at least I know what I am hoping to get.

So today, I was suppose to tour Grafton; but due to both my boyfriend and I being sick, it didn't quite happen.

At this point I'm awaiting a start date. Trust me though, the wait is killing me. I'm dead nervous about messing this up, and that is something I don't want to do. I sort of feel like this is my last shot, ya know? I want this to work so bad.

I haven't told many people that I am going on this route. My main concern is that everyone will start gossiping around me and stir up drama. I refuse to put up with it. This is just the way I am, life has enough drama without having to add MORE. I can just picture some people looking down on me, but you know what? Where would I be if I DIDN'T do this? Working in a mall?

I know I can do more than that with my life. I can do big things, it just that I've always lacked the confidence to stick to anything. I am always second guessing myself and worrying about what everyone else says.

Something I came to realize is this though: Who else is going to live by MY choices? I have to make MY life, and not live up to someone else's expectations. Sure, I could get even further in debt to do what society expects me to do. But why? What for?

I want a career that pays the bills. Sure, it'd be awesome to make 100k a year, but I'm not looking to be rich...I want to do something I enjoy and can afford to support myself and contribute to my family financially. I don't want to be working a dead-end job in retail that will never get me anywhere and that I dread going into everyday. I don't want to be living paycheck to paycheck and squeaking by.

In this in economy, that's what happens; even if you do have a college degree that you've put yourself thousands of dollars in the hole to get. The idea of MORE debt scares me half to death. I saw my family drown in debt growing up, I don't want that for me. Also, I feel that Job Corps would be good for me in other aspects of my life that college doesn't provide. They can help me build my confidence and social skills. They can help me develop time management skills and learn to balance a schedule. I am held accountable for what I do and don't do. I am also not going to be put down when I mess up, they will help guide me to become a better person, and this is what I am ultimately hoping to get out of the program.